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TRANSFORMERS:
REVENGE OF THE FALLEN -
WARNING:
CONTAINS SPOILERS
I saw the sequel of the first Transformers movie, TRANSFORMERS
- Revenge of the Fallen .
This is definitely a massive film, considering that lasts almost
two hours and a half! The plot is a mix of elements from the original
Transformers (now known as G1), but also something from the new
series (a thing that not makes me entirely happy), and I it reconnects
more than the first movie to the true history of Transformers:
why they're on the Earth and why they're fighting a civil war.
In this movie we also see the Transformers characters more deeply,
and it is pleasing to see Starscream as "Megatron's Igor"
(yes master, please master!) as a time... ah, memories.
The new entry among the robots are nice, especially Jetfire and
the mitical Constructors.
Human characters are trivial as they were in the first movie.
In a few words, their function is to escape the Decepticons, create
gags or "teen" situations in the typical Dawsons's Creek
style. With the only exception of Michela, the girl played by
Megan Fox: her only function is to show her (albeit very beautiful)
body. That's all. She has no value in the plot.
The first hour and a half is funny and is what deserves to be
seen, especially by Transformers fan like me. That part of the
movie bears the quality standard of its predecessor, so the action
scenes are funny and numerous and the gags tear more than a laugh.
What literally ruin Transformers 2 is the final scene. That's
an endless battle (something like 40 minutes and more) against
the Decepticons who are trying to implement their evil plan...
the sad thing is that in this section of the movie the Transformers
robots have a marginal part, and in most of the scenes they are
confined in the background; the focus of the movie is shifted
to Sam and the pair of tits that follow him as a dog (I'm talking
about Megan Fox) but, above all, on a nauseating exhibition of
"virile and patriotic U.S. military power": an annoying
series of tanks, ships, aircraft carriers, helicopters, soldiers
shouting "move! move! move!", planes, six or seven thousand
stars generals barking orders, and so on.
I mean, I'm a "good boy" and these are not things that
annoy me at all, but someone should explain me what the hell they
match in a Transformers movie.
Michael Bay is a fanatic about these things, so give him a "Green
Berets" remake to direct, not science fiction movies!
I am seriously disappointed by the final battle, and Michael Bay
literally destroys an entertaining and decent movie with a scene
uselessly long, disturbing and without any meaning.
Bay confirmed for the umpteenth time that he's not able to be
a director: he has no taste for shots or editing, he's not able
to build a cliffangher, he's not able to give importance to the
main sequences.
I mean:
SPOILER - The Death of Optimus Prime –
the most popular Transformer and the very heroic icon (undisputed
hero of my childhood) – passes almost unnoticed. The scene
is short and devoid of pathos.
But that's not all: even the end of the movie, when Optimus rises
to defeat the bad guys, lacks any kind of pathos and the climax
scene is resolved in about thirty seconds. - /SPOILER
This is a total director failure. Ok, Bay might be good at directing
the crew for scenes full of special effects, but Spielberg (who
now is totally gone mad, unfortunately) should accompany him a
real director, a person who knows how to shot a dialuge scene
but also a battle scene.
Nobody realizes that it is impossible to understand what the robots
are really doing in battle scenes? At most you can perceive that
there are two (or many...) fighting Transformers, but nothing
more.
I mean: one of my favourite movies (maybe the best of the "classical"
Star Wars trilogy) is The Empire Strikes Back, which
is very sentimentally involving because wasn't directed by a VFX
technician, but by an honest and good drama director (Irvin Kershner).
As in the first movie, in my opinion the Transformers look is
a little bit too much "baroque", so most of the robot
characters are difficult to recognize. Except for Optimus and
Bumblebee, but just because the one is red and blue and the second
is yellow, so when you see spots of those colors working up on
the screen you can reasonably think that one of the two good guys
is "doing something cool"...
I'm continuing to think that the cars chosen for the transformations
are almost all wrong: in my opinion Bumblebee should be a more
common car (damn, in G1 he was a Volkswagen...) and the other
should be production models and no prototypes or concept cars...
ok, I'm an Autobot, so tell me how can I hide among the mass if
I'm the prototype - a single copy - of the "will be"
Chevrolet Corvette.
Moreover, I always think that in these two movies the essence
of the Transformers is distorted: the movies are redolent of militarism,
"macho scenes" and distorted characters. Optimus Prime,
for example: he can't insult his opponent in fighting, and he
would not "be cool" to have won a battle: despite being
the Autobots leader, he is a pacifist and is often reluctant to
fight. Michael Bay has turned him into a "gangsta rapper".
Not to mention that:
SPOILER - I had just used to the complex design
of Optimus that is already be changed! / SPOILER
My rating? As for the first movie, I love the Transformers, they
are great, and I love to see the heroes of my childhood again
on the screen. But the film itself is insignificant, ruined not
only by a final battle that is out of context and too long, but
especially by an incompetent director that should change job tomorrow
morning.
Give me a "godzillion of dollars" and I will make the
third movie better than him for sure.
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